I remember the days of good old Student Council with Moses, especially the summer before my junior year (his senior) and the summer school breakfast/snack serving. I looked up to him more than he knew at that time... but I am super thankful I got to tell him that a few years ago.
The last time I saw him, about a year ago, my daughter was small enough to look like a tiny baby doll when he held her. That wasn't necessarily hard to do as he was such a big guy anyway! The workout obsessed, tattoo-covered man was (as many have also said) a huge teddy bear. He had a heart of gold, a love for his daughter than was bigger than life itself and intelligence that he laced with lots of sarcasm and wit.
Life tossed him around a bit more than some knew but he always found a way to land on his feet. Even when he struggled with sadness, he managed a smile and put smiles on the faces of those by his side. When we reconnected, he was in another tough spot of transition in life. It was great to be able to remind him that others cared for him and were willing to help him when he would let them.
I found it crazy how we picked up as such good friends again and were able to chat about relationships, children and religion so openly. One of my fondest memories is the night we sat down together at Golden Corral over his plate of fried chicken and bounced around the Buddhism/Christianity conversation. I gained new respect for him through hearing his beliefs and he opened himself up to hear about the Christian faith. It was such a blessing to hear him say that was the first time he had such a conversation without it being weighed down with judgment... God really carried us through that experience and it will forever be etched as part of me.
The tears and sobs of last night and today have been so raw and real. My memories are replaying over & over. I loved the nights of dinner, playing pool, dancing or just hanging out with a friend without a worry in the world because no one would mess with me in the shadow of this man. I loved keeping up with this big guy when it came to Bud Lights that one night (9 in like 2 hours - no, not one of my finest moments but one with a lot of laughs)... one of the funniest memories between us.
You always go back and say "I wish I had..." when you lose someone unexpectedly. I have those "wish I had" things more recently. But I'm so glad my "wish I had" was fulfilled beyond our first level of friendship so many years ago. I will miss him so very much. I will miss his sweet comments on my baby girl's and my family's pictures on Facebook. I will miss his posts about giving people a "high five in the face" for their ridiculousness. I will miss seeing him with or in pictures with his daughter as she grows. I pray that he is at peace and that his daughter can see through others what a great man she calls her Daddy.
Hug those around you. Spend time with them. Appreciate their strengths & weaknesses. Love unconditionally. Give even when you don't have enough. Share yourself with others.
My heart hurts but I know Moses would want to see a smile on my face and would want me to throw out plenty of sarcasm... so watch out world!
I will always hold you dear in my heart, my friend. You are so loved and incredibly missed.
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